Tuesday 24 February 2009

Angst Angst Angst

So I had a little preliminary jam with the main guy from a band I'm looking to join, and I'm really not sure how to feel about it.

On one hand it was pretty good. The songs are beautiful and well constructed, I didn't fuck up too badly (though I did feel a bit bumbling at times) and we did it in a practice space he has above his garage, which is big and nicely done up. I also really like what the band are trying to do, in terms of mixing electronics in with a standard-ish indie sound, and having the commendable goal of trying to be on the experimental end of the accessible. It's ambitious stuff.

On the other hand I felt a bit sad when I got back last night, and I can't quite work out why. I'm having a bit of a crisis of confidence, with me feeling like I'm not really good enough for the band. It all seems quite professional, and I don't think I have the talent or the feel for the music. I'm slightly conflicted in a couple of ways too: I don't know if this is exactly what I want to do musically, and yet I don't think I could do that well enough, and I don't feel I'd have much creative involvement but, again, I don't think I want any because I'm going through a dry spell at present. However, how much of that is psychological I don't know. I just don't know how to feel.

Phew that was a bit morose. I'm lucky this is being crossposted to my livejournal.

3 comments:

Chris JC said...

Livejournal thanks you. And has commented in HOPEFULLY useful fashion.

Horatio Outside said...

Livejournal has indeed been useful. I don't really think I'm not good enough, otherwise I doubt the guy would be inviting me back for future practices.

I think Seb's line is pretty sensible - that I just need to build up my confidence. More practice it is, then.

Chris JC said...

Wicked - Seb talks the sense.