Under The Covers Part 3: The Catalogue of Fail

Are you ready? Cos once we go in, there's no coming back.

The Catalogue of Fail:

• The Ramones - Blitzkrieg Bop

Possibly violates my "nothing too obvious" rule. We played this ok mostly but one time played it at about triple speed, which was a bit slapdash. We also played this as part of our audition for the school band night, and completely fucked it up. Mainly because the structure wasn't generally known. Always dangerous.

• At The Drive-In - One Armed Scissor

I still don't know what the fuck we were thinking of. There's no way we were good enough musicians to pull this off. The song demands a certain level of tightness, at least in the rhythm section, that we were entirely lacking.

• Camper Van Beethoven - Take The Skinheads Bowling

Seriously, this is a pretty simple song. Yet nobody seemed to know the structure and as a result it just lacked soul.

• Pixies - Debaser

Played once, and only once. I can't even go into how bad it was.

• The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

Again only played once. Worst start to a gig ever. Was played in a sort of slower "dub" fashion, due to drummer not actually knowing how the song went. I am really, really sorry for this one.

• Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart
  

Bet you didn't see that one coming, did you? Pulled that one right out of my cockney sleeve, didn't I? Another song played at our infamous "audition". The guy doing the audition claimed we had "murderd one of the best songs of all time". He was right. He also claimed the drummer was playing in "four and a half-four time". He was right. Never played live.

• At The Drive-In - Arcarsenal

Good god, had we learnt nothing? Never actually played live, or indeed as a full band. Mainly because the singer thought it was too shouty (a fair point). This, however, makes the fact that he suggested...

• Refused - The New Noise

...even more baffling. Again, didn't even approach a live performance..

God that was surprisingly tiring. And those were just the most notable ones. I've just counted ten (ten!) further songs that were played live, or practised, or merely suggested that we play,and even then I'm not sure I've remembered them all. And yes, I will list them all if you really, really want.

Quite frankly, I think that says rather a lot about us as a band. Anyway I promise the next few blogs will be a little less wordy, and list-y. See you soon.